Santa Claus is the Devil
In the spirit of Christmas, I have decided to re-post a k@oticism classic. This was originally posted on Dec 24, 2004.
Santa Claus. Jolly Christmas Icon bringing toys and happiness to little boys and girls everywhere? Or the devil himself? Let’s look at the evidence shall we?
1. The name.
S - A - N - T - A
S - A - T - A - NDiabolical. This alone should be enough to convince you. Just a simple switching of a letter. How better to disguise the hideous truth, than in plain sight. “St. Nick“? A well known apellation of the Devil was “Old Nick“. Do you begin to see the correlation?
2. The list.
Ah yes. The “naughty or nice” list. Keeping constant watch over who’s bad or good. The better to know what souls to go after. Mother Theresa. Good list. Probably not an easy catch. Ok she’s dead, but I needed an example of somebody REALLY good. Work with me people. Bill O’Reilly. Bad list. He’s been checked twice.
“He see’s you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake, he knows if you are bad or good so be good for goodness sake.”
That’s not a holiday anthem. That’s a WARNING people!
3. The toys.
Gifts in exchange for good behavior.
Bribery.
But, realistically folks, how many of you are really good and deserving of such gifts? Yet, you receive them anyway.
“To:Billy, From:Santa.” Yeah right.
“To:Billy, From:SATAN !”
YOU’RE SELLING YOUR SOULS KIDS!
4. The outfit.
What color is more synonymous with evil and the Devil than RED?
Santa …………………….. Satan
Can there be any doubt?
I’M ON TO YOU FAT BOY!
DISCLAIMER: This is meant to be humorous. This is by NO means a declaration of religious beliefs. I am as anti-religion as you can get. It does, however, go to show how stupid the bible thumpers look when they try to raise similar points, but actually believe it in their closed little minds. I love the bible. Really. Best work of fiction I ever read.
I know I’m late to this post, but it is genius. I’m sold.
Comment by 8ZERO8 — January 27, 2005 @ 8:58 pm
Hah! well as they are both fictional - big deal. Im Hindu so I’ll just take the pressies.
Comment by SunHawk — March 23, 2005 @ 4:00 am
It’s about time someone thinks like me….I’m still waiting for my presents that bastard.
Comment by Collette — April 21, 2005 @ 11:09 pm
I am a Christian who sincerely believes in the bible, but I never really paid attention to judging people who beliefs were different from mine. I find it offensive when people talk about me because I am a Christian and knowing how I feel when someone says something about me I would not like to cause the same hurt to anyone else. But that correlation is kind of funny when you think about it. Thank you for making me laugh for the day.
Comment by Toy — October 28, 2005 @ 7:48 am
LMAO! Damn you crack me up! The similarities ARE eerie, and ironic.
Great post! That I would have never read had you not linked back to it.
I AM a Christian, but do not buy in to what the religous leaders of the day try shoving down their “flocks” throat.
I love ALL the Holidays, Halloween, Christmas, and yes I celebrate my Christianity on Easter. How everyone perceives each Holiday is subjective, and based on each individuals perspective. In other words, ANY excuse for a party and/or Holiday, rocks my world! And the naysayers can kiss my arse! Thanks for the laughs K@os!
3T
Comment by 3rdtimesacharm (3T) — November 5, 2005 @ 6:32 am
Accck!
See, I think the children know somewhere deep down inside, otherwise why would they scream with sheer terror at the site of Old St. Nick???
LMFAO Thanks for that one!
Comment by Jade — December 16, 2005 @ 6:27 am
his real name is Satan Claws; right? ;)
Comment by Dawn (webmiztris) — December 17, 2005 @ 9:49 am
Well there is one discrepancy. Santa was not illustrated with the red and white suit colors until the marketing genius at Cocoa-Cola got the idea to put his image into some advertising. Cocoa-Cola has been around for along time, since the early 1900’s, in fact they even used to put cocaine in their drink for little pizzaz, hence the name “COCOA” cola. Santa used to be visualized with forest colors such as greens and browns. Also the devil aka Satan wasn’t visualized or illustrated as being red until the renaissance before he blue. (Sorry, a lot of Discovery channel)
Now, I’m not saying Santa and Satan don’t have a connection. I just think that If there is something going on then it would go a little more like this…
Imagine if you will the dark ages. The things we like to consider as mythological still exsist, or as least in the minds of the people of that age they do. In the lands of northern europe the word of Nicholas the toy giver spreads. Everything is fine for a while but Nicholas is still only one man. The elves, touch by his generosity join him in his quest to give toys out to the chldren. And with this his life is locked into a never ending cycle. How is it that we only see or hear of Santa on one night each year?, because a man can only live so long. The elves knew that the normal people would never except them as the toy givers, everyone knew that it was Nicholas, hell they even went so far as to call him a saint. So there was only one option, extend Nicholas’ life. The elves came up with a plan, they would put Nicholas to sleep and while asleep he would age very slowly. They would awaken him for but one night each year, christmas eve.
Over the years the devil had been watching “Saint” Nicholas and his elven friends and decided they were a thorn in his plans for too long. So armed with his arsenal of lies and tricks he devised a plan to corrupt the saint. Like with all corruptions the plan was simple, you find out what one most desires and tempts the victim to fall from grace of their own volition. Everyone knows the devil is patient, so over the course of a thousand nights the devil visits Nicholas on his nightly deliveries. Saying a kind word here a kind word there, gaining his trust and confidence. Then one day their conversation bore the fruit of the proverbal tree. Nicholas confessed that he grew tired of his night duties. Of course you must realize the devil found this hilarious and roared with laughter, a man who sleeps for all but one night a year is “tired”. After this news the devil pounced upon the opportunity and tempted Nicholas with a way to end his obligations. After years of conversations and temptations even by Nicholas sense of time, Nicholas fell to the machinations of the devil. The devil created a contract for Nicholas and like Faust, Nicholas signed. The devil with his newly signed contract, wielded it like a broadsword and cut down the the old world notion of “Santa Claus”. He contacted his minions in the West and had their forces rallied for his most insidious plan yet. Using his command of knowledge and his control of the ledgend of “The toy-giver” He recreated the image of Santa Claus to his needs and used his minons in the corporations to cement his idea of Santa Claus upon the people of the world…Christmas. His most powerful minion of that time, Norman Rockwell hammered the final nail into the coffin of the image of the saint Nicholas, with his corporate images of the new Saint Nick. The end of the old world had come, the corruption of the masses had begun and the birthday of the Chirst has been defiled. With all of this had come to pass, the devil each year on one special night vists Nicholas on the Ninth layer and shows him whats he’s missed. And so ends the tale of the toy-giver.
;)
Comment by MacSamurai — December 17, 2005 @ 7:19 pm
The whole idea is not very far from the truth. The birth of Christ was in actual fact in April/May.
Why do the whole world celebrate Xmas?Hindu’s,Muslims,Protestants,Catholics,Buddist’s etc.The Commercial implications speaks for itself, but what is the real meaning of 25th Dec?
If Satan is behind all this the rules are simple: Satan always try to defile Christ’s statutes. So look at the “meaning” of Xmas which is to commemorate Christ’s birth and therein lies the answer. 25th Dec is the birthday of the first false christ.His name was Tamus.He was the son from the gods in the time of the Tower of Babel when Nimrod the king of Babel had intercourse with his mother the Queen and she concieved.Her answer for the pregnancy was that the gods favoured her and gave her a son.He was born on the Summer Sulstice which starts with the the Birth of the Sun, on the longest day of the year 21st Dec and feasting lasted a week to commemorate this.These people worshipped the sun, which was and is to this day the Idolatry God warned his people to avoid.When we celebrate Xmas,we show our allegiance to the father of this statute,which is the father of all lies, Satan. We do more than that when we also worship on the day that was instituted by this same Pagan religion that prayed to the Sun on the Venerable day of the Sun,Sunday.
Another example of the Devil’s defiling of Gods Statutes.
Comment by Frank — July 25, 2006 @ 12:32 am
lmfao plus he is the physical embodyment of gluttony one of the seven deadly sins!!!
Comment by walker — December 7, 2006 @ 6:08 am
Your blog is interesting!
Keep up the good work!
Comment by Alex — August 16, 2008 @ 2:42 am