November 1, 2007
The following is an actual transcription of a tech support chat session I had with a Dell representative. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Well, mine anyways.
System:
Thank you for choosing Chat support. The next representative will be available to assist you shortly. While waiting, check some of our self support options above. No fear, you won’t lose your place in line!
Session Started with Agent (160019_Manish)
Agent (160019_Manish):
Thank you for contacting Dell Technical Support. My name is Manish and my rep ID number is 160019. How may I assist you today?
k@os:
This is my third time trying. I was disconnected the previous 2. I have an Inspiron 1501 and I am getting 2 error messages when I try to boot the computer. PXE-E61: MEDIA TEST FAILURE, CHECK CABLE and PXE-M0F: EXITING BROADCOM PXE ROM. I get the error messages when I turn on the power and it tries to boot. Once the error messages show up, when i hit any other key it just beeps. The only thing it will let me do is turn off the power. I Googled the messages and the results were not conclusive.
Agent (160019_Manish):
I am really sorry for the inconvenience caused as we are facing some problem with the network. I’ll be glad to assist you. Please provide me the service tag of the system. Please give me 2 to 3 minutes to pull up your account information.
k@os:
Service tag: XXXXXX
Agent (160019_Manish):
Please try to wiggle LCD cable.
k@os:
What?
Agent (160019_Manish):
This is the problem with the LCD.
k@os:
Ok. What LCD cable? The LCD screen works fine. The computer will not boot. Last time I check an Inspiron 1501 was a laptop and has no external cables to “wiggle”.
Agent (160019_Manish):
Please let me know if you have external monitor with you?
k@os:
No. Laptop. LAPTOP!
God save us from outsourcing. Is this what I have to look forward to now that the McDonald’s in Hawai’i are starting to outsource their drive-thru’s?
April 18, 2007
Hubzilla’s rant on the Virgina Tech shooting, which mirrors my own thoughts:
Okay, the murderer had two handguns, a Glock and a .22, each one holds 15 and 10 rounds respectively. He killed (not just wounded) 32 people. That’s an awful lot from a non-automatic weapon. With a .22, you’d almost need to get a head or chest shot to kill quickly.
Unless he was really good, he probably needed 2-3 shots per person. Which means he would’ve needed to reload maybe 2-3 times. Actually, the number would be much higher accounting for the people who were just wounded (29) and inevitable missed shots. Unless he did each one point-blank, but that leads to more complications, especially time.
So allowing for breaks in reloading and carefully aiming kill shots, WHY DIDN’T ANYONE STOP HIM? Tackle him, bum-rush him, throw a chair, shoot a fire extinguisher, anything? We’re not talking Womens Studies or Fine Arts majors here; engineering students are probably 80% male. Other than a professor who held a door closed, no other men tried to stop him?
At Columbine, 2 guys with automatic weapons and explosives murdered 12 high-school kids in a planned and mapped-out attack. This loner who wrote disturbing poetry got 32 college adults with a couple of pistols. None of them remembered Todd Beamer or Flight 93?
February 10, 2007
More fun with e-mail . . .
| k@os |
People are officially no fun anymore. No one lets me talk shit about Anna Nicole. My thing is this: If you put your coked-out life on a reality show for everyone to see, you are officially fair game for the rest of us to exercise our freedom of speech on around water coolers. That, and apparently TRIMSPA can kill you. |
| Hubzilla |
Oh dear lord. PLEASE tell me ANS is not the newest “taken before their time” martyr. First JFK, then MLK, then Kurt Cobain… now this. I refuse! This is your brain on drugs… six feet under. They’re all talking “conspiracy theory” over here. Yes, good idea: murder a very public person as part of your “secret plans”. |
| k@os |
Interesting how western civilization has declined. Our martyrs used to be Kennedy and King. Now, Cobain and Smith. We’ve gone from murdered for their idealism to killing themselves with cocaine and heroine. Here’s hoping the American public doesn’t lament the loss of Paris Hilton and her contributions to society if she dies of asphyxiation from sucking too much dick. |
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| Hubzilla |
Correction: King was murdered for his communism, not his idealism. |
| k@os |
He was murdered by the secret spork society. |
| Hubzilla |
I thought you wrote “spook society” Ha ha! Something’s fishy because she had a lot of money (or her baby does now). |
| k@os |
Did she ever get the money from the old geezer she married? For love, of course. Not because he was a billionaire. I can understand how she may have sought solace from the death of her son by keeping herself in a chemically induced stupor, but what about your newborn? Apparently that child ranks a little lower on her “things I give a shit about” list. |
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| Hubzilla |
To be honest, I never understood the rancor about a billionaire marrying Nicole. If I were that rich, I would certainly deserve a hot trophy wife. When I’m “amorously engaged” with my hot twenty-something, do I really care that she’s only in it for the money? |
| k@os |
“Hot trophy wife” and Anna Nicole Smith contradict each other. |
| Hubzilla |
Hot trophy wife in the mid-90s, that is. |
| k@os |
Nope. Still a contradiction. |
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| Hubzilla |
Your momma’s a contradiction. Don’t dare to impugn me. |
November 28, 2006
According to Websters, a RUMOR is “talk or opinion widely disseminated with no discernible source”.
OK now pay attention.
No one can accurately predict earthquakes.
Yet despite that FACT, the RUMOR of an impending 9.0 earthquake and subsequent tsunami was enough to send a large portion of Oahu’s population scrambling for gas and high ground. Everyone heard it from someone who saw it on the news, or knows somebody who knows somebody who works at Civil Defense. One person even said a friend of theirs heard it from a psychic this past Friday.
A psychic.
This town needs an enema.
I have yet to hear of ANYONE who says they got that information firsthand. You’d like to think people would take the time to at least verify the warning before taking such drastic action as packing up some belongings and heading for high ground. The usual response to that is, of course, “better safe than sorry”.
Better safe than stupid.
Jesus fucking Christ. It can’t even rain here without Honolulu buttoning themselves inside their homes and traffic slowing to a crawl. I grew up in the wettest city in the United States. It’s just water people. You won’t melt.
I could probably sit here and vent some more, but a friend of someone I know who had a girlfriend that once went to school with someone who joined the military and went to basic training with some guy that now works for the Department of Defense says that North Korea has launched a nuclear missile at Hawaii.
I have to go “duck and cover”.
Links to the REAL news story:
Earthquake, tsunami hoax alarms hundreds on Oahu
Earthquake hoax concerns authorities
Civil Defense flooded with calls over quake hoax
Earthquake rumors run rampant
June 30, 2006
Blogger shuts down Web site that mocked legislator.
Rep. Harbin’s lawsuit threat forces artist to shut Web site.
In case you’ve never clicked on the link to Talk Stink in my sidebar, you guys are missing a great satirical site with it’s finger on the pulse of local media. Of course regarding Bev Harbin, I hope it’s the middle finger. This, from the Honolulu Advertiser:
“An irreverent local blogger has chosen to give up a Web site making fun of state Rep. Bev Harbin after Harbin threatened to take him to court under the state’s law against cybersquatting.
Jon Asato, a tour guide and writer, said he agreed to drop the domain names BevHarbin .com and BeverlyHarbin.com after Harbin sent him two letters warning of a civil lawsuit. Asato said his Harbin Web site, which had cartoons that likened Harbin to The Incredible Hulk and the Joker character from the movie “Batman,” should be protected as free speech.
But he said he did not have the money for a legal fight and instead has posted the cartoons and commentary about his experience on his celebrity gossip Web site, “talkstink.com.”
Harbin, D-28th (Iwilei, Chinatown, Kaka’ako), said she was not really offended by the cartoons but wanted the rights to her name in an election year. “I don’t care about the parody. I had people call me up and say it was the cutest thing they had ever seen,” she said.
Harbin was appointed in September by Gov. Linda Lingle to fill a House vacancy but was asked to resign after it was discovered she had unpaid state taxes and misdemeanor convictions for writing bad checks. She refused to resign and is running to retain her seat.
“I’ve worked 60-something years to get my name to mean something,” she said. “It’s good. It’s bad. It’s ugly. But it’s mine.”
The disagreement between Asato and Harbin may seem small in scale but involves a fundamental constitutional right — free speech — and the evolving rights of people to control the use of their names on the Internet.”
Used without permission. Please don’t sue me.
You can see the second Cease and Desist order she sent to Mr. Stink here:
• Bev Harbin Cease and Desist Letter Version 2.0 and My Response
Although, I must admit , it is nice to see her doing something LEGALLY this time.
You know, as opposed to driving or writing checks.
“Like virtually all of the legislators in an election year, I am contemplating re-election. If I were to run, the site would really be in the way.”
Correct me if I’m wrong, but wouldn’t you have to have been . . . oh . . . I don’t know . . . actually ELECTED to the position in the first place in order to be RE-ELECTED to it? I know, I know. Let’s not get technical.
I for one can’t wait to vote.
April 5, 2006
September 4, 2005
Click her stupid fucking image to go to CNN.com to view the stupid fucking clip of her flapping her stupid fucking gums.
I was not intending to post anything about the aftermath of hurricane Katrina for the same reason I never posted anything about the Asian tsunami. There’s nothing I can write that will not have already been said on a thousand other blogs. But, invariably, something comes along that just pisses me off so much I can’t keep my piehole shut. In this case, it was two things. The first was Celine Dion on Larry King Live. I don’t have the clip so you’ll just have to settle for the link to it above. I do have some transcripts.
“There’s people still there waiting to be rescued. To me that is not acceptable . . . I know they have reasons for it. But I don’t want to hear those reasons . . . How can it be so easy to send planes in another country to kill everybody in a second and destroy lives. We need to serve our country.”
First off, this is not your country you sanctimonious bitch. So you donated a million dollars. Great. Good for you. Give the bitch a gold fucking star. That’s not a license to run your fucking mouth. Go sing your crappy fucking songs at your crappy fucking Vegas show and shut the fuck up.
Guess what Celine. Even your fellow Canadians don’t fucking like you.
I’m sick and fucking tired of hearing newscasters and politicians and celebrities and whoever the fuck they’ll give 15 seconds of airtime to complaining about how long it took the government to respond and send aid. These people have no fucking idea about the logistics involved in sending that much manpower, food, water, and medicine into an area such as those devastated by Katrina. Especially New Orleans. There is no infrastructre left. Roads are underwater, in some places as deep as 20 feet. The M1076 PLS is not exactly an amphibious vehicle. Maybe if those assholes were’nt shooting at police, firemen, and rescue helicopters HELICOPSTERS, they could have gotten more done on the first 3 days.
Stop blaming the war in Iraq for the lack of personnel to help with recovery efforts. There more than enough National Guardsmen and active duty military available across the country. Stop blaming George Dubyah and the federal government. Why aren’t the local officials being held accountable? New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin was quick and profane in his comments on national TV. Well, in my experience, the guilty speak the loudest. Roy Nagin for President my ass. Fuck Roy Nagin.
Here’s what George W. thinks of Roy Nagin running for President
Here’s what the rest of the Universe thinks of Roy Nagin running for President
The Docs over At Sigmund, Carl, and Alfred can explain it much better than I can. Click here, here, and here for their postings on the matter.
The bottom line is that it takes a lot of manpower and, most importantly and tragically, TIME to move that much aid in and that many people out. Get your ass over there Celine and see how hard the local police and fireman have been working to help. Their homes are gone too. They have family missing. Why don’t you go there and personally speak to Lt. Gen. Russel Honore and see and hear the passion and dedication he has before you criticize the U.S. military’s efforts in the region.
And it wasn’t that easy to “send planes in another country to kill everybody in a second and destroy lives” . Logistics bitch. Get your fucking facts straight.
If I turn on CNN and see Bono, Sean Penn, or Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon, I’m going to fucking shoot myself.
And don’t even pull the race card.
Which brings me to the second thing to get me so worked up. This article from The Huffington Post. I almost hate to acknowledge this bullshit with a link, but I have so you can read this drivel for yourself. Not a single fucking link to these “reports” of black hurricane victims eating corpses in the article. Randall Robinson you’re a fucking idiot. I’d love to eat HIS liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
Of course NOW he has retracted his statement about the cannibalism. AFTER it incensed readers and got bloggers to post links to it so people other than his mother would read his crap.
I think Foamy the Squirrel sums up what many of us are feeling rather eloquently. Click “PLAY” for the video.
Thanks to Occasional Bitch for the heads up on this Flash video from iLL WiLL PreSS.
« less k@os
July 31, 2005
There are too many damn old people on the roads.
They are a hazard to other drivers. Maybe their eyesight isn’t what it used to be. The reflexes are a little slower. Maybe it’s fucking Alzheimer’s. I don’t fucking care. Take their licenses and get them the fuck off the roads. Make them take raod tests whenever they renew their drivers licenses beyond the age of 65. I don’t care what you do, just do something. Sure I’m not getting any younger. Yes it will be me one day. And when that time comes, I’ll have my kids drive me wherever I need to go. I know my limits. That and the fact that we supported their asses for the past 20 years of their life, they can bloody well take care of us for the last 20 of ours.
That having been said, this is what spawned my rant.
It’s my daughters first official day of Kindergarten on friday. Her school is about a 3 minutes drive from where we live, but I have an errand to run so I leave 45 minutes early. Have to head over to our friendly neighborhood medical center to pick a phoned in prescription. It takes me a few minutes to get there, it being only 3½ miles from home. I park in the structure, and go get the drugs . . . er . . . vitamins. It just so happens that the pharmacy is being re-modeled, causing a longer-than-normal line. No big deal. I left myself plenty of time so I should still make it to her school with minutes to spare. And, they have a 30 minute grace period for visitors parked on the structure so I still won’t have to pay for parking.
As I get to my car and and pull out of the stall to leave the structure, I get behind and elderly woman driving her white Honda. Normally most parking structures have a speed limit of about 5 or 10 mph. In her desire to courteous to others and safety conscious, she decides to drive at about 2½ mph.
Through the entire fucking structure.
Snapped this picture with my trusty camera-phone.
It’s driving me crazy, because now I’m starting to cut it close on time for my daughters school AND the grace period for parking. Now there are 2 lanes to exit the parking structure. The left lane is for those of us who pay for the parking, and the right lane for parking cardholders. She rounds the corner and heads down the cardholder lane, so I pull forward to get into the ticket lane. Well, so does she. She misses me by about 2 inches as she crawls her way into the left lane. Only my quicker-than-elderly reflexes enabled me to hit the brakes in time and prevent a fender-bender. Wait. It gets better.
Now she decides to stop just short of the ticket booth. And does nothing. She just sits there. Doing nothing. There isn’t enough room in front of her car for me to go around and leave. So I honk my horn. Wait. It gets better.
The mummy decides to GET OUT OF HER CAR AND START YELLING AT ME! She’s a goddamn fossil for fuck’s sake! It was the only thing preventing me from stepping out with my baseball bat that I always keep in the car.
CORPSE: Why are you beeping your horn?! What’s the matter with you?!”
ME: “YOU! You drive like you’re already dead! Now get the fuck back in your car and get out of my fucking way!”
So the living dead gets back in her car and pulls up to the ticket booth. And sits there. Looking for her parking ticket. Trying to hand everything she finds to the parking attendant. No, that’s your drivers license. No, that’s your medical card. No, that’s just a random slip of paper.
About this point, I tried to commit seppuku with a ball-point pen.
Finally she finds her ticket, pays her parking fee, and inches her way out of the structure. I get there, and the parking attendant lets me go without paying, as it was not my fault I went over the 30 minute grace period. I break numerous land-speed records getting to my daughters school, but I’m still late. By the time I get there, she’s the ONLY one left in class after all the other parents have picked up their kids. At least my daughter’s not a crybaby and kind of just stood there with this look full of diva attitude that spoke volumes. “I’m sorry I’m late honey. You see, there was this zombie . . .”
Anyone knows where I can get a bumper sticker like this?
Due to popular demand ( two ), the bumper stickers are now available at shop.k@oticism! Collect them! Trade them! Show them to your friends!
Image courtesy of Chickenhead via Norsegod.
« less k@os
July 21, 2005
As usual, I’m a little late with this. Found it at I Hate My Cubicle!!!
Jeanette Sliwinski unsuccessfully tried to kill herself, police said. She may still get her wish.
Prosecutors said they may seek the death penalty for the 23-year-old Morton Grove woman who allegedly told investigators she was trying to kill herself when she slammed her car at 70 mph into the rear of a Honda Civic stopped at a red light at a Skokie intersection Thursday.
The three occupants of the car she hit — all Chicago rock musicians in different bands — were killed, sending shock waves through the local music community
Chicago Sun Times
She could have drove her car off of a cliff, or into a lake or river. She could have overdosed on painkillers or sleeping pills. She could have slit her wrists. She could have hung herself in her living room.
But no.
She decides to ram her car into another full of innocent people. Way to go. Proof that good looks does not equal brains.
It was interesting to read the comments to this post here, at Metroblogging Chicago, by some actual friends of the musicians killed in the crash as well as one who knew Jeanette in college.
She wanted to die, so I say don’t let her. Give the bitch life. Of course, I don’t believe that will happen. k@os says well see a slap-on-the-wrist scentence after a tear filled courtroom apology to the surving family members, along with the usual “she was distraught . . . not in her right mind . . . did not know what she was doing . . . blah blah blah” from the defense attorneys. Of course she was distraught. She was pretty and had a successful modeling career. Who wouldn’t kill themselves?
Recent history has set the precedence. just look at the Rodney King trial, O.J. Simpson, Robert Blake, and Michael Jackson.
If she gets off, I’m going to kill myself by driving into a car full of models at 70 mph.
« less k@os
June 23, 2005
Why is the media wasting so much airtime on Brennan Hawkins? In case you’ve been under a rock, he is the 11 yr old Boy Scout that was found after being lost for 4 days in the Utah wilderness.
Instead of marveling at the boys courage, how about a slap upside the head for being so fucking dumb as to get lost from his Boy Scout pack in the first place? Jesus Christ it’s Aron Ralston all over again. If we want an amazing story of survival, how about that 4 year old boy they are calling “Little Tarzan” after surviving A WEEK in the forests of some backwater eastern European nation by eating wild strawberries and drinking rainwater. 4 YEARS OLD! I have yet to find a single news story about it online.
Well, I guess Utah IS dangerous. It is crawling with all those goddamn Mormons after all.
While we’re on the subject of stupid, kudos to Spike TV for no longer carrying WWE Raw after August. I mean, it was only one of their highest rated shows. TV for men my ass. MXC and Ultimate Fighter isn’t enough. CSI? Reruns of another networks hit. How do their board meetings go?
“I know, let’s show reruns of MacGyver and Star Trek the Next Generation!”
Because when you think of what a manly man would watch, you instantly think of MacGyver and Star Trek the Next Generation
Tools.
« less k@os
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