Creeps and ghouls and bible thumping fools . . .
Save me from co-workers and holiday spirit. It all went down something like this . . .
Them: We should have the whole Un-named Corporate Department dress up for Halloween!
k@os: ( sarcastically ) Yeah. Sure. That’s a greeaat idea.
The Rest of Them: Yeah! We should all dress up with the same theme!
k@os: What?
Them: What a great idea! What theme should we pick?
k@os: How about I wear my black trenchcoat and come as one of those Columbine High kids? You guys can be the rest of the students . . .
Them: How about Disney?
The Rest of Them: Yeah! How about Snow White?
k@os: What?
Them: Yeah! Nameless Female Manager can be the Evil Queen, and Nameless Male Supervisor can be Snow White!
k@os: Sure. Let’s think of more ways to emasculate him in the company of his peers . . .
The Rest of Them: And we can be the Seven Dwarfs!
k@os: How about I wear a kilt? I’ll go commando underneath . . .
( random chatter as everyone selects the dwarf they will dress as )
k@os: Well if I HAVE to be a dwarf, I’m gonna be Grumpy.
Nameless Male Employee: I already chose Grumpy.
k@os: Dude, I’ve FORGOTTEN more grumpy than you’ll ever know. Ok fine. I’m the poison apple.( So k@os shows up to work on Halloween with jeans, biker boots, shades, a do-rag, and a red t-shirt that says “BITE ME” )
Nameless Male Employee that stole Grumpy from k@os: What kind of apple wears a bandana on his head?
k@os: A BAD apple. Bite me.
And my favorite quote-of-the-day?
k@os ( to lone Nameless Female Employee that chose NOT to dress up ) : So why didn’t you dress up? I had to . . .
Lone Nameless Female Employee that chose NOT to dress up: I serve the Lord. We don’t celebrate Halloween. We don’t glorify the devil.
Ok. History lesson. Do you know from whence our devil-glorifying holiday draws its roots?
The term “Halloween” is derived from Hallowe’en, an old contraction, still retained in Ireland, Scotland and some parts of Canada, of “All Hallow’s Eve,” so called as it is the evening (or eve) before the feast of All Saints (an important day in the CHRISTIAN calendar), which used to be called “All Hallows” derived from All Hallowed Souls.
Put that in your bag of candy.
Happy Halloween gang.
